Modern Etiquette: What Rules Still Exist? Tell us your thoughts to win a $75 Amazon gift card

SheSpeaksTeam By SheSpeaksTeam 07.10.19
Modern Etiquette: What Rules Still Exist? Tell us your thoughts to win a $75 Amazon gift card
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"Dear Abby" was one of the original syndicated advice columns, appearing in over 1,200 newspapers and read by over 95 million people. Times have certainly changed since "Dear Abby" launched in 1956, but we are curious: are there still rules for common etiquette? And if so, what are they?

In the past few weeks, 5 burning questions have come up within the SheSpeaks Team. After much discussion, here are our best answers. Do you agree? Tell us what you think and you'll be entered to win a $75 Amazon gift card!

Are there any questions you'd love the answers to? Submit them and we'll include some of our favorites as future polls on our website!

Q 1. If you bring a dish to a get-together, is it appropriate to bring home the leftovers?

Not usually. Leftovers should be left for the host to enjoy. However, if there are a ton of leftovers and the host is truly insisting you take it, then take it. It's certainly not worth fighting over.

2. Is it rude to leave your cell phone on the table when dining with friends?

Yes, it's rude, but sometimes it has to be done. For example, if you are out without your kids, then it's ok to keep the phone out in case there is any issue at home. But don't take any calls or texts unless they are truly important. It's not fun to be at dinner with someone who cares more about their device than you.

3. If a single person is going in on a present with a couple who is married or dating, does the single person pay 50% and the couple pay 50% or does each individual person pay one-third?

If everyone knows the recipient equally, than everyone pays equally. But if the partner in the couple doesn't know the recipient and is really just a guest, then 50-50 might be ok. Make sure to talk about it with each other before assuming the amount.

4. How do you get out of an annoying group text conversation without insulting everyone in it?

No one wants to hear constant phone beeping when they're not interested in the chat. If there's a chance that the discussion will end soon, then just silence your phone and ignore it. But if it looks like this chain might be permanent, then it's ok to beg out. Best to send a light-hearted text, something like, "Hey all, love this group but need to get away from the phone and actually pay attention to my children! Can you remove me from the chat? Thx!"

5. Are thank you notes necessary? Do they always have to be hand-written?

Everyone appreciates a thank-you but there are varying degrees of how it needs to be said. If your friend buys you a drink for your bithday, sending a thank-you text afterwards is perfect. But if you receive more meaningful gifts, like at your wedding, graduation party or baby shower, than, yes, we still believe that hand-written notes are ideal. Email is ok for informal events if it is truly personalized. If someone spent time picking out a thoughtful (or expensive) gift for your new baby, they deserve something more than a group email saying, "Thanks for coming to my shower! Loved your gift!" 

What do you think? What questions do you have? Enter for the chance to win a $75 Amazon gift card!

#SheSpeaksEtiquette Giveaway

*One lucky contestant will be chosen at random to receive a $75 Amazon gift card. Giveaway is open through July 28th, 2019 to U.S. residents at least 18 years of age. Entrants must be a member of SheSpeaks. If you are not a member, click here to join. Winner will be notified by email.

Update: Thanks to all who entered! Congrats to our winner, SheSpeaks member beaniebaby70.

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  • HoneyBee22 By HoneyBee22
    07.27.19  

    I let my friends no in advance that I do NOT participate in group texts, chats, or skype sessions.. that way there are no hard feelings when I do not join one!

  • HoneyBee22 By HoneyBee22
    07.27.19  

    In today's times of "rush, rush, rush", I think that thank you notes are extremely necessary.. as a way of connecting and showing appreciation to others when someone has done right by you. It's personal and only takes a moment.

  • MeandMyPinkMixer By MeandMyPinkMixer
    07.26.19  

    Handwritten thank you notes are a must for me!

  • LoriR57 By LoriR57
    07.26.19  

    I don't know how modern this will be, but to me, etiquette boils down to being polite and courteous. Examples are holding the door for an elderly person, saying please and thank you, acknowledging someone's thoughtfulness in sending a gift, giving up your seat to a mother and child....Be kind and polite never goes out of style!

  • sonia23 By sonia23
    07.26.19  

    I hate it when someone is always on their phone, while you're talking to them or out to dinner

  • tjs68111 By tjs68111
    07.25.19  

    I agree with all of these! I especially don't like it when someone won't put their phone down at the dinner table; its one thing to have it out if something important comes up but to keep texting, checking FB, or whatever else they are doing on it all the time!? It's pretty rude in my opinion!

  • tjs68111 By tjs68111
    07.25.19  

    I agree with all of these especially the phone one! I hate when people get their phones out at the dinner table, its just rude!

  • AutumnDawn By AutumnDawn
    07.25.19  

    I think these are great rules to go by. As a young adult, and someone who has grown up with a phone in hand, I still believe it's rude to have the phone out at dinner. My former roommate and I made an agreement to keep our phones put away during dinner and still hold true to that when we meet up.

  • Cropperhopper By Cropperhopper
    07.25.19  

    Should you remove your shoes when visiting someone's home?

  • Cropperhopper By Cropperhopper
    07.25.19  

    I agree with everything except the dining. A couple should pay for2/3 of the bill or each for their own.

  • LoveDisappears By LoveDisappears
    07.25.19  

    I agree with all of these. It's just proper etiquette and common sense.

  • miswede54 By miswede54
    07.25.19  

    I always carry my phone and leave it out where I can see it since I have elderly parents. If it is not them when it rings I dismiss the call. I don't find it annoying when other people do this when there are legit reasons. I do find it annoying when they just answer every call that comes in and chat forever

  • DebSings By DebSings
    07.25.19  

    Also: showing up a few minutes early or on time, this is such a sign of respect! (not too early to someone's home, though!)

  • mstaye By mstaye
    07.25.19  

    Cellphones are such a distraction. I believe you should enjoy the company you have or leave.

  • 2carrie2 By 2carrie2
    07.24.19  

    These are great ideas to stand by. Now if only the younger generation will follow.

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