Modern Etiquette: What Rules Still Exist? Tell us your thoughts to win a $75 Amazon gift card

    by   SheSpeaksTeam   

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Jul 10, 2019
351

"Dear Abby" was one of the original syndicated advice columns, appearing in over 1,200 newspapers and read by over 95 million people. Times have certainly changed since "Dear Abby" launched in 1956, but we are curious: are there still rules for common etiquette? And if so, what are they?

In the past few weeks, 5 burning questions have come up within the SheSpeaks Team. After much discussion, here are our best answers. Do you agree? Tell us what you think and you'll be entered to win a $75 Amazon gift card!

Are there any questions you'd love the answers to? Submit them and we'll include some of our favorites as future polls on our website!

Q 1. If you bring a dish to a get-together, is it appropriate to bring home the leftovers?

Not usually. Leftovers should be left for the host to enjoy. However, if there are a ton of leftovers and the host is truly insisting you take it, then take it. It's certainly not worth fighting over.

2. Is it rude to leave your cell phone on the table when dining with friends?

Yes, it's rude, but sometimes it has to be done. For example, if you are out without your kids, then it's ok to keep the phone out in case there is any issue at home. But don't take any calls or texts unless they are truly important. It's not fun to be at dinner with someone who cares more about their device than you.

3. If a single person is going in on a present with a couple who is married or dating, does the single person pay 50% and the couple pay 50% or does each individual person pay one-third?

If everyone knows the recipient equally, than everyone pays equally. But if the partner in the couple doesn't know the recipient and is really just a guest, then 50-50 might be ok. Make sure to talk about it with each other before assuming the amount.

4. How do you get out of an annoying group text conversation without insulting everyone in it?

No one wants to hear constant phone beeping when they're not interested in the chat. If there's a chance that the discussion will end soon, then just silence your phone and ignore it. But if it looks like this chain might be permanent, then it's ok to beg out. Best to send a light-hearted text, something like, "Hey all, love this group but need to get away from the phone and actually pay attention to my children! Can you remove me from the chat? Thx!"

5. Are thank you notes necessary? Do they always have to be hand-written?

Everyone appreciates a thank-you but there are varying degrees of how it needs to be said. If your friend buys you a drink for your bithday, sending a thank-you text afterwards is perfect. But if you receive more meaningful gifts, like at your wedding, graduation party or baby shower, than, yes, we still believe that hand-written notes are ideal. Email is ok for informal events if it is truly personalized. If someone spent time picking out a thoughtful (or expensive) gift for your new baby, they deserve something more than a group email saying, "Thanks for coming to my shower! Loved your gift!" 

What do you think? What questions do you have? Enter for the chance to win a $75 Amazon gift card!

#SheSpeaksEtiquette Giveaway

*One lucky contestant will be chosen at random to receive a $75 Amazon gift card. Giveaway is open through July 28th, 2019 to U.S. residents at least 18 years of age. Entrants must be a member of SheSpeaks. If you are not a member, click here to join. Winner will be notified by email.

Update: Thanks to all who entered! Congrats to our winner, SheSpeaks member beaniebaby70.

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by ammienem3 | Weston, WV
Jul 10, 2019

I hate group texts

by Jenny391 | Port Isabel, TX
Jul 10, 2019

My husband and I don't have a cell phones so questions 2 and 4 don't apply to me, but it is sad to watch other cell phone people ignoring each other. I always wonder what they are staring at and how important could it possibly be? I disagree with question 5. I believe all occasions warrant a handwritten note or card. It's just being proper and how it should be done.

by ashleylkirkman28 | GREENSBORO, NC
Jul 10, 2019

I agree with most, however if I brought the dish in my own container I would ask the host if they wanted the leftovers.

by Aricart | Tamarac, FL
Jul 10, 2019

Yeeees!I agree 100%.

by Kissmekatedelta88 | BROOKLYN, NY
Jul 10, 2019

Are there any modern updated rules to funerals in the age of technology.

by Kissmekatedelta88 | BROOKLYN, NY
Jul 10, 2019

Are there any modern updated rules to funerals in the age of technology.

by Kissmekatedelta88 | BROOKLYN, NY
Jul 10, 2019

I agree with all these. People can be so rude.

by Tribble | MEDFORD, OR
Jul 10, 2019

Yes, I agree with all of these.

by sweetie_581 | MARYVILLE, MO
Jul 10, 2019

I think the way we interact with people anymore is awful. I go out with people for dinner and always on cell phones. I try to put mine away and up at dinner times

by susan1215 | OMAHA, NE
Jul 10, 2019

Yes I agree with all of these. I always make my kids write Thank-you card to their relatives when they received birthday, Christmas and graduation gifts and I do the same.

by amethystmoon | Winslow, ME
Jul 10, 2019

I think we worry too much about the phone. Leaving it on the table is fine as long as you're engaged in the people at the table

by wenrom31 | NARANJA, FL
Jul 10, 2019

I disagree that is acceptable to keep your phone on the table well at dinner with others. Well I certainly understand the need to sometimes take an important phone call during dinner, the phone should be kept in a pocket, purse, bag or coat. Not on the table.

by lolalexx_ | Lexington, KY
Jul 10, 2019

I agree with these a lot, but feel #2 is only applicable sometimes. In the world we live in, phones are more regular for various things. If this is very casual like grabbing a bite with my roommates or dinner trivia I do weekly, it is informal enough that I can be aware of and periodically answer other messages. I think 2 applied to when its a more formal thing, like seeing family or catching up with a friend you haven't seen in a bit.

by davisjodie | Chatham, NJ
Jul 10, 2019

When out with friends, I try not to take my phone out.

by daholte | STOUGHTON, WI
Jul 10, 2019

I agree with all of these! Manners are never out of style.

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