Modern Etiquette: What Rules Still Exist? Tell us your thoughts to win a $75 Amazon gift card

    by   SheSpeaksTeam   

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Jul 10, 2019
351

"Dear Abby" was one of the original syndicated advice columns, appearing in over 1,200 newspapers and read by over 95 million people. Times have certainly changed since "Dear Abby" launched in 1956, but we are curious: are there still rules for common etiquette? And if so, what are they?

In the past few weeks, 5 burning questions have come up within the SheSpeaks Team. After much discussion, here are our best answers. Do you agree? Tell us what you think and you'll be entered to win a $75 Amazon gift card!

Are there any questions you'd love the answers to? Submit them and we'll include some of our favorites as future polls on our website!

Q 1. If you bring a dish to a get-together, is it appropriate to bring home the leftovers?

Not usually. Leftovers should be left for the host to enjoy. However, if there are a ton of leftovers and the host is truly insisting you take it, then take it. It's certainly not worth fighting over.

2. Is it rude to leave your cell phone on the table when dining with friends?

Yes, it's rude, but sometimes it has to be done. For example, if you are out without your kids, then it's ok to keep the phone out in case there is any issue at home. But don't take any calls or texts unless they are truly important. It's not fun to be at dinner with someone who cares more about their device than you.

3. If a single person is going in on a present with a couple who is married or dating, does the single person pay 50% and the couple pay 50% or does each individual person pay one-third?

If everyone knows the recipient equally, than everyone pays equally. But if the partner in the couple doesn't know the recipient and is really just a guest, then 50-50 might be ok. Make sure to talk about it with each other before assuming the amount.

4. How do you get out of an annoying group text conversation without insulting everyone in it?

No one wants to hear constant phone beeping when they're not interested in the chat. If there's a chance that the discussion will end soon, then just silence your phone and ignore it. But if it looks like this chain might be permanent, then it's ok to beg out. Best to send a light-hearted text, something like, "Hey all, love this group but need to get away from the phone and actually pay attention to my children! Can you remove me from the chat? Thx!"

5. Are thank you notes necessary? Do they always have to be hand-written?

Everyone appreciates a thank-you but there are varying degrees of how it needs to be said. If your friend buys you a drink for your bithday, sending a thank-you text afterwards is perfect. But if you receive more meaningful gifts, like at your wedding, graduation party or baby shower, than, yes, we still believe that hand-written notes are ideal. Email is ok for informal events if it is truly personalized. If someone spent time picking out a thoughtful (or expensive) gift for your new baby, they deserve something more than a group email saying, "Thanks for coming to my shower! Loved your gift!" 

What do you think? What questions do you have? Enter for the chance to win a $75 Amazon gift card!

#SheSpeaksEtiquette Giveaway

*One lucky contestant will be chosen at random to receive a $75 Amazon gift card. Giveaway is open through July 28th, 2019 to U.S. residents at least 18 years of age. Entrants must be a member of SheSpeaks. If you are not a member, click here to join. Winner will be notified by email.

Update: Thanks to all who entered! Congrats to our winner, SheSpeaks member beaniebaby70.

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by kwillsmom | HAYNEVILLE, AL
Jul 10, 2019

I try to always write or send Thank You notes and messages. It shows the person that you are thankful that they thought about you. Writing is always so personable and seems like a lost art these days but it shows thoughts on both ends.

by BrookeWillis | FLOWERY BR, GA
Jul 10, 2019

Thank you notes are a must!!!

by Krazycatlady222 | NEWVILLE, PA
Jul 10, 2019

If I bring a dish to a get together no I don't bring leftovers home I jus prefer to take my dish home with me that's it

by NYCSingleMom | NEW YORK, NY
Jul 10, 2019

I write hand written thank you notes. I force my teen daughter to write hand written thank you notes. A text post event or gift if fine but it should be followed by hand written note!!

by SarahLynn10 | STERLING HTS, MI
Jul 10, 2019

I usually have my phone nearby but not at the table.

by Cropperhopper | SHARON, PA
Jul 10, 2019

Call me old-fashioned, but I still believe in hand written notes, and cellphones have no place at dinner or during certain social situations.

by tara19652006 | ALBUQUERQUE, NM
Jul 10, 2019

I dont agree with the potluck food one. I always bring my leftovers home with me as that way I get my dishes that I brought.

by Hillbillyland_chix | BIG CREEK, KY
Jul 10, 2019

I agree with the answers given, to me they show that communication will never steer you wrong in most etiquette question someone may have.

by MrsB08 | CHARLTON, MA
Jul 10, 2019

Think they are all great!

by ConnieGRG2 | SANDPOINT, ID
Jul 10, 2019

I so wish that other people would do each and every one of those!

by Srose2357 | CLEVELAND, OH
Jul 10, 2019

I for the most part agree with most of these however society has progressed so the rules need to progress to. I think it's perfectly fine to send thank you texts if they're sincere or to drop out of a group chat that you don't want to be in.

by yukicharley | CROWN POINT, IN
Jul 10, 2019

I agree with all of them. Spend more PEOPLE time and less TECH time when you're with people.

by Candy12151 | RICHMOND, IN
Jul 10, 2019

I never thought about these before. #3 would be 50/50, #2 I could care less, and I love hand written thank you cards.

by boo_boo_kitty | SAN ANTONIO, TX
Jul 10, 2019

I personally never take home leftovers unless the host tells me to take some home. And no cell phones at dinner or other meals at all.

by Ladygem616 | FT LAUDERDALE, FL
Jul 10, 2019

I totally agree with these.

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