Have you ever found yourself overextending for others, taking on more responsibility than necessary, or feeling resentful even as you continue to show up for people in your life? You may be experiencing high-functioning codependency (HFC)—a pattern of behavior where you appear highly capable and independent but struggle with over-giving, over-functioning, and prioritizing others’ needs over your own.
In our latest episode of the SheSpeaks podcast, Women of Influence, we sit down with Terri Cole—licensed psychotherapist, relationship expert, and best-selling author—to unpack what HFC looks like, how it affects relationships, and what steps you can take to break free from these patterns.
People with HFC are usually seen as strong, successful, and dependable—yet behind the scenes, they struggle with overinvestment in others, difficulty setting boundaries, and an underlying fear that if they stop over-functioning, everything will fall apart.
Terri introduces the concept of the "Downloaded Love Blueprint", which helps us understand how our early experiences shape the way we show up in relationships today. She also explains the critical role of resentment - a sign that we may be giving too much without receiving the care and respect we deserve.
With awareness and the right tools, we can change our relationship patterns, set healthy boundaries, and prioritize our own well-being without guilt.
Enter to win 1 of 3 copies of Terri Cole’s latest book, Too Much!
In Too Much, Terri breaks down the characteristics of HFC and teaches you how to identify your own HFC blueprint, set better boundaries, and reclaim your time, energy, and emotional space. Through her insights, you’ll gain the tools to break the cycle of over-giving and start living a more authentic, joyful life.
Book Giveaway: Too Much by Terri Cole
Three lucky winners will be chosen at random to receive one copy, each, of the book, Too Much by Terri Cole. Giveaway is open to U.S. residents 18 years or older. Enter through 2/28/25. Winners will be chosen randomly and notified by email. Entrants must be a member of SheSpeaks. If you are not a member, click here to join.
Thanks to all who entered! Congrats to our winners SheSpeaks members: nagroskopf, misti911 and SASHANENE.
I've seen how my grandma was with my mom, and I need to break the cycle
I've seen how my grandma was with my mom, and I need to break the cycle
Wow, this sounds like the book for me! I definitely struggle with over giving, over investing, imposing & enforcing boundaries, and on & on.
It can show in sneaky ways.
I always do too much for others
Sounds very informative
My mom used to be like that & I taught her how to say No.
Oh This sounds like a very informative book
High functioning codependent is a new term for me. Great episode!
We have to have self awareness and be willing to learn about our weak points.
I’m listening to podcasts on My church website the church next door with my pastor Doyle Jackson