Have you ever found yourself overextending for others, taking on more responsibility than necessary, or feeling resentful even as you continue to show up for people in your life? You may be experiencing high-functioning codependency (HFC)—a pattern of behavior where you appear highly capable and independent but struggle with over-giving, over-functioning, and prioritizing others’ needs over your own.
In our latest episode of the SheSpeaks podcast, Women of Influence, we sit down with Terri Cole—licensed psychotherapist, relationship expert, and best-selling author—to unpack what HFC looks like, how it affects relationships, and what steps you can take to break free from these patterns.
People with HFC are usually seen as strong, successful, and dependable—yet behind the scenes, they struggle with overinvestment in others, difficulty setting boundaries, and an underlying fear that if they stop over-functioning, everything will fall apart.
Terri introduces the concept of the "Downloaded Love Blueprint", which helps us understand how our early experiences shape the way we show up in relationships today. She also explains the critical role of resentment - a sign that we may be giving too much without receiving the care and respect we deserve.
With awareness and the right tools, we can change our relationship patterns, set healthy boundaries, and prioritize our own well-being without guilt.
Enter to win 1 of 3 copies of Terri Cole’s latest book, Too Much!
In Too Much, Terri breaks down the characteristics of HFC and teaches you how to identify your own HFC blueprint, set better boundaries, and reclaim your time, energy, and emotional space. Through her insights, you’ll gain the tools to break the cycle of over-giving and start living a more authentic, joyful life.
Book Giveaway: Too Much by Terri Cole
Three lucky winners will be chosen at random to receive one copy, each, of the book, Too Much by Terri Cole. Giveaway is open to U.S. residents 18 years or older. Enter through 2/28/25. Winners will be chosen randomly and notified by email. Entrants must be a member of SheSpeaks. If you are not a member, click here to join.
Thanks to all who entered! Congrats to our winners SheSpeaks members: nagroskopf, misti911 and SASHANENE.
thanks
I would love to win a copy of this book. This is exactly what I need to read right now. :)
This sounds helpful
Yes repairing relationships with my loved ones has been a very worthwhile soul searching endeavor.
I need to read this. Thank you
Grew up around perfectionist & critical family & used to be more like this but not anymore. I use Spotify, so I followed SheSpeaks & Terri Cole there. Tried to search by book & author there under both but found nothing & not sure where to leave a rating or review. Looks like a great book. Thanks for the chance.
I've gone to 12-step meetings for codependency, but it's been years - it would be awesome to have this book as a refresher course of sorts! ♥
Seems very informative.
This is helpful
important
interesting
Bounday boss - gotta go check that out.
This book sounds great!
This sounds like a helpful book.
This sounds like a helpful book.