Modern Etiquette: What Rules Still Exist? Tell us your thoughts to win a $75 Amazon gift card

    by   SheSpeaksTeam   

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Jul 10, 2019
436

"Dear Abby" was one of the original syndicated advice columns, appearing in over 1,200 newspapers and read by over 95 million people. Times have certainly changed since "Dear Abby" launched in 1956, but we are curious: are there still rules for common etiquette? And if so, what are they?

In the past few weeks, 5 burning questions have come up within the SheSpeaks Team. After much discussion, here are our best answers. Do you agree? Tell us what you think and you'll be entered to win a $75 Amazon gift card!

Are there any questions you'd love the answers to? Submit them and we'll include some of our favorites as future polls on our website!

Q 1. If you bring a dish to a get-together, is it appropriate to bring home the leftovers?

Not usually. Leftovers should be left for the host to enjoy. However, if there are a ton of leftovers and the host is truly insisting you take it, then take it. It's certainly not worth fighting over.

2. Is it rude to leave your cell phone on the table when dining with friends?

Yes, it's rude, but sometimes it has to be done. For example, if you are out without your kids, then it's ok to keep the phone out in case there is any issue at home. But don't take any calls or texts unless they are truly important. It's not fun to be at dinner with someone who cares more about their device than you.

3. If a single person is going in on a present with a couple who is married or dating, does the single person pay 50% and the couple pay 50% or does each individual person pay one-third?

If everyone knows the recipient equally, than everyone pays equally. But if the partner in the couple doesn't know the recipient and is really just a guest, then 50-50 might be ok. Make sure to talk about it with each other before assuming the amount.

4. How do you get out of an annoying group text conversation without insulting everyone in it?

No one wants to hear constant phone beeping when they're not interested in the chat. If there's a chance that the discussion will end soon, then just silence your phone and ignore it. But if it looks like this chain might be permanent, then it's ok to beg out. Best to send a light-hearted text, something like, "Hey all, love this group but need to get away from the phone and actually pay attention to my children! Can you remove me from the chat? Thx!"

5. Are thank you notes necessary? Do they always have to be hand-written?

Everyone appreciates a thank-you but there are varying degrees of how it needs to be said. If your friend buys you a drink for your bithday, sending a thank-you text afterwards is perfect. But if you receive more meaningful gifts, like at your wedding, graduation party or baby shower, than, yes, we still believe that hand-written notes are ideal. Email is ok for informal events if it is truly personalized. If someone spent time picking out a thoughtful (or expensive) gift for your new baby, they deserve something more than a group email saying, "Thanks for coming to my shower! Loved your gift!" 

What do you think? What questions do you have? Enter for the chance to win a $75 Amazon gift card!

#SheSpeaksEtiquette Giveaway

*One lucky contestant will be chosen at random to receive a $75 Amazon gift card. Giveaway is open through July 28th, 2019 to U.S. residents at least 18 years of age. Entrants must be a member of SheSpeaks. If you are not a member, click here to join. Winner will be notified by email.

Update: Thanks to all who entered! Congrats to our winner, SheSpeaks member beaniebaby70.

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by sneddy29 | LEWISVILLE, TX
Jul 13, 2019

I don't agree or disagree about the leftovers, mainly because what if the host takes them out of courtesy and then just tosses it because they didn't really want or like it? Best just take it home yourself then.

by takgirl14 | PRT WASHINGTN, NY
Jul 13, 2019

I agree with all of the advice given above. I always write thank you cards and mail them or give them to the person who sent a gift, either to me or on behalf of my 5-year-old. It seems like very few people write thank you cards anymore

by mebalicious | PITTSBURGH, PA
Jul 13, 2019

I agree with all this as appropriate ways to handle those situations.

by BOSSLADYNELLIE | ALBRIGHTSVLLE, PA
Jul 13, 2019

I have my phone on me 24/7 my mom said you might as well use your phone as eating utensil (laughs) because its always on me.. i do agree back in the days nobody really had cell phones so it was more family time then anything truth be told i miss family time now family is shared with 200 people on social media when your family sitting right in front of your face

by Danielle1213 | PHILADELPHIA, PA
Jul 13, 2019

1. Yes it is appropriate to bring home leftovers. 2. It is not rude to leave your cell phone on the table, only use it for emergencies. 3. Everyone pays equally. 4. Silence the group text by going into your settings in your phone. 5. Thank you notes are necessary depending on what it is for and it doesn't always have to be handwritten.

by hariharian | Tampa, FL
Jul 13, 2019

All sounds pretty reasonable!

by tufcookie25 | LARCHMONT, NY
Jul 12, 2019

I agree with all the answers .

by Rj4656 | LEWISVILLE, TX
Jul 12, 2019

It is rude to have your phone out at dinner or social settings. Put it away!

by jenni104 | Angola, IN
Jul 12, 2019

I agree with all of them but sadly I encounter a lot of people whom I don't think ever learned proper manners or maybe they did and just don't care, especially when it comes to tech such as cell phones.

by jheiert | ALEXANDRIA, KY
Jul 12, 2019

I agree with all of these! My kids still send Thank You notes with a pic of themselves for every birthday present they receive. :)

by wooabm26 | CHATTANOOGA, TN
Jul 12, 2019

I agree with all of these completely! Thank you notes are dying off and it's so disappointing.

by HDbyTee | BRUSSELS, WI
Jul 12, 2019

Agree with most but I do not leave my phone on the table when out with friends Email or text my Thank you's along with saying it face to face when I see the person. When I bring a dish it's usually a personal dish so I offer the left over and if no one wants them I take them home. I get occasional group texts, I stay in it as long as need be then I'll exit out.

by NLW1020 | MAURICE, IA
Jul 12, 2019

I do agree with most of the above. However, as much as I enjoy getting a hand written thank you note, I absolutely despise writing them. As for cell phones on the table. For me it depends who I am with & where I am. If it is a group of us moms out to eat, we all have our phones close by (on the table) in the event something should happen to our kids while we are out. But for the most part, I don't have my phone on the table...

by tamaraben | FAIRHOPE, AL
Jul 12, 2019

I feel social etiquette is lacking in our society these days! I agree with all of these answers to these great questions!

by gmoney1951 | MORGANTOWN, WV
Jul 12, 2019

1. If you bring a dish to a get-together, is it appropriate to bring home the leftovers? Anywhere that I go taking a dish I would come home with my dish full of all kinds of leftovers. We always have so much food left at the end.

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