Modern Etiquette: What Rules Still Exist? Tell us your thoughts to win a $75 Amazon gift card

    by   SheSpeaksTeam   

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Jul 10, 2019
351

"Dear Abby" was one of the original syndicated advice columns, appearing in over 1,200 newspapers and read by over 95 million people. Times have certainly changed since "Dear Abby" launched in 1956, but we are curious: are there still rules for common etiquette? And if so, what are they?

In the past few weeks, 5 burning questions have come up within the SheSpeaks Team. After much discussion, here are our best answers. Do you agree? Tell us what you think and you'll be entered to win a $75 Amazon gift card!

Are there any questions you'd love the answers to? Submit them and we'll include some of our favorites as future polls on our website!

Q 1. If you bring a dish to a get-together, is it appropriate to bring home the leftovers?

Not usually. Leftovers should be left for the host to enjoy. However, if there are a ton of leftovers and the host is truly insisting you take it, then take it. It's certainly not worth fighting over.

2. Is it rude to leave your cell phone on the table when dining with friends?

Yes, it's rude, but sometimes it has to be done. For example, if you are out without your kids, then it's ok to keep the phone out in case there is any issue at home. But don't take any calls or texts unless they are truly important. It's not fun to be at dinner with someone who cares more about their device than you.

3. If a single person is going in on a present with a couple who is married or dating, does the single person pay 50% and the couple pay 50% or does each individual person pay one-third?

If everyone knows the recipient equally, than everyone pays equally. But if the partner in the couple doesn't know the recipient and is really just a guest, then 50-50 might be ok. Make sure to talk about it with each other before assuming the amount.

4. How do you get out of an annoying group text conversation without insulting everyone in it?

No one wants to hear constant phone beeping when they're not interested in the chat. If there's a chance that the discussion will end soon, then just silence your phone and ignore it. But if it looks like this chain might be permanent, then it's ok to beg out. Best to send a light-hearted text, something like, "Hey all, love this group but need to get away from the phone and actually pay attention to my children! Can you remove me from the chat? Thx!"

5. Are thank you notes necessary? Do they always have to be hand-written?

Everyone appreciates a thank-you but there are varying degrees of how it needs to be said. If your friend buys you a drink for your bithday, sending a thank-you text afterwards is perfect. But if you receive more meaningful gifts, like at your wedding, graduation party or baby shower, than, yes, we still believe that hand-written notes are ideal. Email is ok for informal events if it is truly personalized. If someone spent time picking out a thoughtful (or expensive) gift for your new baby, they deserve something more than a group email saying, "Thanks for coming to my shower! Loved your gift!" 

What do you think? What questions do you have? Enter for the chance to win a $75 Amazon gift card!

#SheSpeaksEtiquette Giveaway

*One lucky contestant will be chosen at random to receive a $75 Amazon gift card. Giveaway is open through July 28th, 2019 to U.S. residents at least 18 years of age. Entrants must be a member of SheSpeaks. If you are not a member, click here to join. Winner will be notified by email.

Update: Thanks to all who entered! Congrats to our winner, SheSpeaks member beaniebaby70.

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by tvgirl68 | SILVERTHORNE, CO
Jul 11, 2019

I totally agree with your answers. I hate when people are on their phone at the table. At least silence it!

by CinFLA | Safety Harbor, FL
Jul 11, 2019

Thank you notes are always in style!

by psychscorp | BALTIMORE, MD
Jul 11, 2019

Totally agree!

by ashagner | DELPHOS, OH
Jul 11, 2019

i agree with them all

by SaabStory | Roselle, IL
Jul 11, 2019

Most of these answers are common sense, I would be surprised if anyone disagreed. No questions, just a comment - drives me BANANAS when my out of state nieces and nephews do not at least let me know when a card with cash or gift card arrives for them on their birthdays. Sadly this is the norm among many kids in different families. I don't need some flourishy thank you but it's so rude for them not to tell me it got there safely.

by tmaadman | POCAHONTAS, AR
Jul 11, 2019

Some great advice for anyone that wants to be polite

by leahwdc | SYKESVILLE, MD
Jul 11, 2019

I agree with all of these answers. It is important to be thankful and gracious no matter the circumstances.

by Mellycons | SAN ANTONIO, TX
Jul 11, 2019

If you bring a dish to a party, you only leave with the physical dish you brought it in, provided it is not disposable. The food is a gift, you leave it with the host unless they insist you take it home.

by celtic94 | BUFFALO, NY
Jul 11, 2019

I agree with all of these, but most of all, sending a handwritten thank you for gifts, and even for kind gestures that go over and above. That is one thing that has slipped in society today. I have always had my son write out thank you notes, it does not take much time.

by Amazonwoman33 | COLUMBIA, SC
Jul 11, 2019

I usually don't bring home leftovers from dishes that I make. If it's in one of my non-disposable dishes and the host insists then I might.

by tuesdayef | oakland, NJ
Jul 11, 2019

I will keep the phone on the table because I have kids, but I do not check it constantly or look at it when I am in a conversation .

by bsf4016 | Memphis, TN
Jul 11, 2019

People will say times have changed, but I believe manners haven't.

by Cellardoor | CHICAGO, IL
Jul 11, 2019

All of these are things I follow and have followed my entire life. I didnt realize how old school people thought these ideas were. It's just common sense.

by amanda823s | Seattle, WA
Jul 11, 2019

I agree with all, but especially thank you notes.

by abbey212 | WAMPUM, PA
Jul 11, 2019

No cell phones at dinner!

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