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Modern Etiquette: What Rules Still Exist? Tell us your thoughts to win a $75 Amazon gift card

Modern Etiquette: What Rules Still Exist? Tell us your thoughts to win a $75 Amazon gift card

"Dear Abby" was one of the original syndicated advice columns, appearing in over 1,200 newspapers and read by over 95 million people. Times have certainly changed since "Dear Abby" launched in 1956, but we are curious: are there still rules for common etiquette? And if so, what are they?

In the past few weeks, 5 burning questions have come up within the SheSpeaks Team. After much discussion, here are our best answers. Do you agree? Tell us what you think and you'll be entered to win a $75 Amazon gift card!

Are there any questions you'd love the answers to? Submit them and we'll include some of our favorites as future polls on our website!

Q 1. If you bring a dish to a get-together, is it appropriate to bring home the leftovers?

Not usually. Leftovers should be left for the host to enjoy. However, if there are a ton of leftovers and the host is truly insisting you take it, then take it. It's certainly not worth fighting over.

2. Is it rude to leave your cell phone on the table when dining with friends?

Yes, it's rude, but sometimes it has to be done. For example, if you are out without your kids, then it's ok to keep the phone out in case there is any issue at home. But don't take any calls or texts unless they are truly important. It's not fun to be at dinner with someone who cares more about their device than you.

3. If a single person is going in on a present with a couple who is married or dating, does the single person pay 50% and the couple pay 50% or does each individual person pay one-third?

If everyone knows the recipient equally, than everyone pays equally. But if the partner in the couple doesn't know the recipient and is really just a guest, then 50-50 might be ok. Make sure to talk about it with each other before assuming the amount.

4. How do you get out of an annoying group text conversation without insulting everyone in it?

No one wants to hear constant phone beeping when they're not interested in the chat. If there's a chance that the discussion will end soon, then just silence your phone and ignore it. But if it looks like this chain might be permanent, then it's ok to beg out. Best to send a light-hearted text, something like, "Hey all, love this group but need to get away from the phone and actually pay attention to my children! Can you remove me from the chat? Thx!"

5. Are thank you notes necessary? Do they always have to be hand-written?

Everyone appreciates a thank-you but there are varying degrees of how it needs to be said. If your friend buys you a drink for your bithday, sending a thank-you text afterwards is perfect. But if you receive more meaningful gifts, like at your wedding, graduation party or baby shower, than, yes, we still believe that hand-written notes are ideal. Email is ok for informal events if it is truly personalized. If someone spent time picking out a thoughtful (or expensive) gift for your new baby, they deserve something more than a group email saying, "Thanks for coming to my shower! Loved your gift!" 

What do you think? What questions do you have? Enter for the chance to win a $75 Amazon gift card!

#SheSpeaksEtiquette Giveaway

*One lucky contestant will be chosen at random to receive a $75 Amazon gift card. Giveaway is open through July 28th, 2019 to U.S. residents at least 18 years of age. Entrants must be a member of SheSpeaks. If you are not a member, click here to join. Winner will be notified by email.

Update: Thanks to all who entered! Congrats to our winner, SheSpeaks member beaniebaby70.

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  • JazzyTJan By JazzyTJan
    07.11.19  

    I agree that we manners matter and I try my best to send out personal thank you cards. I believe that if I bring an item to a house, that I am planning to leave it there. I am still working on no cell phone at the dinner table (smile).

  • Chris213 By Chris213
    07.11.19  

    I agree with most of these.

  • lindasmith00 By lindasmith00
    07.11.19  

    I agree with all

  • Tooky120 By Tooky120
    07.11.19  

    I think it?s fine to have your phone on the table during dinner, but keep the ringer on vibrate and keep the phone upside down. Another option is to keep the phone on your lap or in your back pocket; you should be able to feel it if it vibrates and you can excuse yourself from the table to see if you need to send a return message or make a phone call.

  • dakotamom By dakotamom
    07.11.19  

    I agree with all

  • Franciely By Franciely
    07.11.19  

    I think that cellphones should be left aside since without phones we can find out how someone else is doing and what is going on around us.

  • emolie27 By emolie27
    07.11.19  

    It always feels nice to get a real thank you note!

  • storm1 By storm1
    07.12.19  

    These are some great advice! Especially the thank you notes. I usually send thank you cards or email/texts but admit that I've also forgotten to send some too!

  • flipadelphia By flipadelphia
    07.12.19  

    I agree with most of these but I feel very passionately about Q1. In fact it's gotten quite some arguments from family. I think it's tacky and a big no no to try and take leftovers of a plate you brought to a party but some family doesn't think so.

  • basketgal917 By basketgal917
    07.12.19  

    I think hand written thank you notes make a big impact with the giver!

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