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Modern Etiquette: What Rules Still Exist? Tell us your thoughts to win a $75 Amazon gift card

Modern Etiquette: What Rules Still Exist? Tell us your thoughts to win a $75 Amazon gift card

"Dear Abby" was one of the original syndicated advice columns, appearing in over 1,200 newspapers and read by over 95 million people. Times have certainly changed since "Dear Abby" launched in 1956, but we are curious: are there still rules for common etiquette? And if so, what are they?

In the past few weeks, 5 burning questions have come up within the SheSpeaks Team. After much discussion, here are our best answers. Do you agree? Tell us what you think and you'll be entered to win a $75 Amazon gift card!

Are there any questions you'd love the answers to? Submit them and we'll include some of our favorites as future polls on our website!

Q 1. If you bring a dish to a get-together, is it appropriate to bring home the leftovers?

Not usually. Leftovers should be left for the host to enjoy. However, if there are a ton of leftovers and the host is truly insisting you take it, then take it. It's certainly not worth fighting over.

2. Is it rude to leave your cell phone on the table when dining with friends?

Yes, it's rude, but sometimes it has to be done. For example, if you are out without your kids, then it's ok to keep the phone out in case there is any issue at home. But don't take any calls or texts unless they are truly important. It's not fun to be at dinner with someone who cares more about their device than you.

3. If a single person is going in on a present with a couple who is married or dating, does the single person pay 50% and the couple pay 50% or does each individual person pay one-third?

If everyone knows the recipient equally, than everyone pays equally. But if the partner in the couple doesn't know the recipient and is really just a guest, then 50-50 might be ok. Make sure to talk about it with each other before assuming the amount.

4. How do you get out of an annoying group text conversation without insulting everyone in it?

No one wants to hear constant phone beeping when they're not interested in the chat. If there's a chance that the discussion will end soon, then just silence your phone and ignore it. But if it looks like this chain might be permanent, then it's ok to beg out. Best to send a light-hearted text, something like, "Hey all, love this group but need to get away from the phone and actually pay attention to my children! Can you remove me from the chat? Thx!"

5. Are thank you notes necessary? Do they always have to be hand-written?

Everyone appreciates a thank-you but there are varying degrees of how it needs to be said. If your friend buys you a drink for your bithday, sending a thank-you text afterwards is perfect. But if you receive more meaningful gifts, like at your wedding, graduation party or baby shower, than, yes, we still believe that hand-written notes are ideal. Email is ok for informal events if it is truly personalized. If someone spent time picking out a thoughtful (or expensive) gift for your new baby, they deserve something more than a group email saying, "Thanks for coming to my shower! Loved your gift!" 

What do you think? What questions do you have? Enter for the chance to win a $75 Amazon gift card!

#SheSpeaksEtiquette Giveaway

*One lucky contestant will be chosen at random to receive a $75 Amazon gift card. Giveaway is open through July 28th, 2019 to U.S. residents at least 18 years of age. Entrants must be a member of SheSpeaks. If you are not a member, click here to join. Winner will be notified by email.

Update: Thanks to all who entered! Congrats to our winner, SheSpeaks member beaniebaby70.

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  • Jhkansas By Jhkansas
    07.11.19  

    I was raised oldschool. I agree with all of these and believe w should teach our kids to do the same. But I will leave my phone out on the table, on silent only for if an emergency call comes in. Or I'll turn on do not disturb and select the one number that can call me. (Elderly dad and I'm his only family near by).

  • bert54 By bert54
    07.11.19  

    Very Simple. Hey guys I am having dinner right now so I will comment after I eat and get back to you.

  • edjona By edjona
    07.11.19  

    I totally agree with these!

  • kelceyryder By kelceyryder
    07.11.19  

    I think thank you notes are important. The person receiving the note is very happy that you took the time to acknowledge their gift/act of kindness. It shows that they genuinely care about you. It means a lot and it doesn't take that much time at all. I remember giving a wedding gift to a coworker's son's wedding and never receiving a thank you. Did they ever receive it??

  • adarst213 By adarst213
    07.11.19  

    I love handwritten notes - but I was taught to only send them if you were unable to thank the person who gave you the gift in person.

  • pursegal By pursegal
    07.11.19  

    I completely agree with all of these.

  • Tammy97229 By Tammy97229
    07.11.19  

    I am a firm believer that thank you notes necessary!! I've taught my kids that they need to send them as a sign of respect and appreciation!

  • nylaurand By nylaurand
    07.11.19  

    Thank you?s Are always necessary! Handwritten!

  • alzak1 By alzak1
    07.11.19  

    Yes, thank you notes are necessary. If you take a real dish, you can take home or offer to homeowner. Gift? annoying group texts, I just delete and don't participate It's ok to have your phone out as long as you aren't using it a lot

  • katrinalewis0717 By katrinalewis0717
    07.11.19  

    Totally agree.

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