SHESPEAKS Your Power to Influence

Modern Etiquette: What Rules Still Exist? Tell us your thoughts to win a $75 Amazon gift card

Modern Etiquette: What Rules Still Exist? Tell us your thoughts to win a $75 Amazon gift card

"Dear Abby" was one of the original syndicated advice columns, appearing in over 1,200 newspapers and read by over 95 million people. Times have certainly changed since "Dear Abby" launched in 1956, but we are curious: are there still rules for common etiquette? And if so, what are they?

In the past few weeks, 5 burning questions have come up within the SheSpeaks Team. After much discussion, here are our best answers. Do you agree? Tell us what you think and you'll be entered to win a $75 Amazon gift card!

Are there any questions you'd love the answers to? Submit them and we'll include some of our favorites as future polls on our website!

Q 1. If you bring a dish to a get-together, is it appropriate to bring home the leftovers?

Not usually. Leftovers should be left for the host to enjoy. However, if there are a ton of leftovers and the host is truly insisting you take it, then take it. It's certainly not worth fighting over.

2. Is it rude to leave your cell phone on the table when dining with friends?

Yes, it's rude, but sometimes it has to be done. For example, if you are out without your kids, then it's ok to keep the phone out in case there is any issue at home. But don't take any calls or texts unless they are truly important. It's not fun to be at dinner with someone who cares more about their device than you.

3. If a single person is going in on a present with a couple who is married or dating, does the single person pay 50% and the couple pay 50% or does each individual person pay one-third?

If everyone knows the recipient equally, than everyone pays equally. But if the partner in the couple doesn't know the recipient and is really just a guest, then 50-50 might be ok. Make sure to talk about it with each other before assuming the amount.

4. How do you get out of an annoying group text conversation without insulting everyone in it?

No one wants to hear constant phone beeping when they're not interested in the chat. If there's a chance that the discussion will end soon, then just silence your phone and ignore it. But if it looks like this chain might be permanent, then it's ok to beg out. Best to send a light-hearted text, something like, "Hey all, love this group but need to get away from the phone and actually pay attention to my children! Can you remove me from the chat? Thx!"

5. Are thank you notes necessary? Do they always have to be hand-written?

Everyone appreciates a thank-you but there are varying degrees of how it needs to be said. If your friend buys you a drink for your bithday, sending a thank-you text afterwards is perfect. But if you receive more meaningful gifts, like at your wedding, graduation party or baby shower, than, yes, we still believe that hand-written notes are ideal. Email is ok for informal events if it is truly personalized. If someone spent time picking out a thoughtful (or expensive) gift for your new baby, they deserve something more than a group email saying, "Thanks for coming to my shower! Loved your gift!" 

What do you think? What questions do you have? Enter for the chance to win a $75 Amazon gift card!

#SheSpeaksEtiquette Giveaway

*One lucky contestant will be chosen at random to receive a $75 Amazon gift card. Giveaway is open through July 28th, 2019 to U.S. residents at least 18 years of age. Entrants must be a member of SheSpeaks. If you are not a member, click here to join. Winner will be notified by email.

Update: Thanks to all who entered! Congrats to our winner, SheSpeaks member beaniebaby70.

Make a Comment

Comment  *
  • 1bets1 By 1bets1

    I agree with all of them. Regarding #5, my only exception is if I'm exchanging Christmas presents in person; then no thank you card.

  • peter26 By peter26

    No phones. Also, even if all parties know the gift recipient equally, the pricing and payment should be discussed in advance.

  • fuzzycricket By fuzzycricket

    These all seem like things that just require good common sense/courtesy. I agree with them all. The phone at the table seems to be the worst to me - I see people all the time with friends yet they are not engaging with them - just the phones. Yes, have it nearby in case of emergency but don't constantly check it.

  • davisesq212 By davisesq212

    1. If you bring a dish to a get-together, is it appropriate to bring home the leftovers? I look at the dish as a gift and never ever expect to take the leftovers. It?s tacky to even ask.

  • yanks4me By yanks4me

    I agree on all the above.

  • rolliepollie By rolliepollie

    Well I commented on each one but it says my response is too long. I could care less about the PC world. *It is fine to bring leftovers home if they are in your dish *Cell ph it depends on who you are with. *Buy your own gift and it isn't an issue. *You can silence dings on a group text on iPhones *Thank you is great - depends on situation as to how you do it.

  • vegasgirl By vegasgirl

    I agree with most. No cell phones at the table. Thank you notes are important

  • Katypugz By Katypugz

    I really like notes and letters they make you feel special

  • gkhanch By gkhanch

    I agree with not making calls/texts while on social gathering but occasional checking any incoming important messages from family members is definitely not wrong.

  • beetea By beetea

    A1. Sure if you ask or host suggests. A2. Depends on your friends. I would go with the majority of those at the table. A3. If you are not sure, always ask. A4. I would hope people are more understanding of people leaving a conversation. A5. Of course they are not necessary, but always welcomed. Same with being hand-written. Depends on what kind of message you want to send.

More stories like this