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Modern Etiquette: What Rules Still Exist? Tell us your thoughts to win a $75 Amazon gift card

Modern Etiquette: What Rules Still Exist? Tell us your thoughts to win a $75 Amazon gift card

"Dear Abby" was one of the original syndicated advice columns, appearing in over 1,200 newspapers and read by over 95 million people. Times have certainly changed since "Dear Abby" launched in 1956, but we are curious: are there still rules for common etiquette? And if so, what are they?

In the past few weeks, 5 burning questions have come up within the SheSpeaks Team. After much discussion, here are our best answers. Do you agree? Tell us what you think and you'll be entered to win a $75 Amazon gift card!

Are there any questions you'd love the answers to? Submit them and we'll include some of our favorites as future polls on our website!

Q 1. If you bring a dish to a get-together, is it appropriate to bring home the leftovers?

Not usually. Leftovers should be left for the host to enjoy. However, if there are a ton of leftovers and the host is truly insisting you take it, then take it. It's certainly not worth fighting over.

2. Is it rude to leave your cell phone on the table when dining with friends?

Yes, it's rude, but sometimes it has to be done. For example, if you are out without your kids, then it's ok to keep the phone out in case there is any issue at home. But don't take any calls or texts unless they are truly important. It's not fun to be at dinner with someone who cares more about their device than you.

3. If a single person is going in on a present with a couple who is married or dating, does the single person pay 50% and the couple pay 50% or does each individual person pay one-third?

If everyone knows the recipient equally, than everyone pays equally. But if the partner in the couple doesn't know the recipient and is really just a guest, then 50-50 might be ok. Make sure to talk about it with each other before assuming the amount.

4. How do you get out of an annoying group text conversation without insulting everyone in it?

No one wants to hear constant phone beeping when they're not interested in the chat. If there's a chance that the discussion will end soon, then just silence your phone and ignore it. But if it looks like this chain might be permanent, then it's ok to beg out. Best to send a light-hearted text, something like, "Hey all, love this group but need to get away from the phone and actually pay attention to my children! Can you remove me from the chat? Thx!"

5. Are thank you notes necessary? Do they always have to be hand-written?

Everyone appreciates a thank-you but there are varying degrees of how it needs to be said. If your friend buys you a drink for your bithday, sending a thank-you text afterwards is perfect. But if you receive more meaningful gifts, like at your wedding, graduation party or baby shower, than, yes, we still believe that hand-written notes are ideal. Email is ok for informal events if it is truly personalized. If someone spent time picking out a thoughtful (or expensive) gift for your new baby, they deserve something more than a group email saying, "Thanks for coming to my shower! Loved your gift!" 

What do you think? What questions do you have? Enter for the chance to win a $75 Amazon gift card!

#SheSpeaksEtiquette Giveaway

*One lucky contestant will be chosen at random to receive a $75 Amazon gift card. Giveaway is open through July 28th, 2019 to U.S. residents at least 18 years of age. Entrants must be a member of SheSpeaks. If you are not a member, click here to join. Winner will be notified by email.

Update: Thanks to all who entered! Congrats to our winner, SheSpeaks member beaniebaby70.

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  • ShaneSellsSeashells By ShaneSellsSeashells

    If you bring a dish you should leave the dish with the food in it. Preplan and leave the physical dish too. At the end of the night the host can toss it if they have no room in their fridge or transfer it to Tupperware to make room. You shouldn't expect to take back something you brought.

  • gadjur1 By gadjur1

    I still write thank you notes, and have my son write his for birthday and Christmas presents he receives. I think it is especially important if the person sent a gift and didn't see you open it. I've sent presents and haven't received a thank you note, and wondered if the person even received the gift. Even if the person hands the gift to you at a part or whatnot, I still thinks it's nice to follow up with a note expressing your appreciation for the thoughtfulness and time it took them to pick out a gift.

  • shonvic1981 By shonvic1981

    I believe in all of them. I always send handwritten thank you notes. When I bring a dish to a get together I always leave leftovers and let guest take what they want. #SheSpeaksEtiquette

  • sweetheart4171 By sweetheart4171

    I agree with this all, texts to say thank you for a gift is just a "no, no" ....I find that impersonal, I feel a hand written thank you shows more gratitude.

  • lovesun By lovesun

    a thank you note is always so nice to receive and to give rather than using their cellphone to text you a message.

  • Rebecca18287 By Rebecca18287

    I bring leftovers home!

  • lisahillberg By lisahillberg

    I agree with it all...Simply comes down to that Manners are good to have to respect not only others but yourself as well!


    Thank you cards/notes have this nice personal touch. It's nice to send a note even with no special occasion!

  • basilandcatnip By basilandcatnip

    Agree w/ all. Good balance. One I get frequently is just meeting people at network or business events, what do others do when asked by someone you just met to "friend" you (especially on LinkedIn). Another odd situation is gate codes when being asked to someones home, just sitting there and waiting in car for them to pick up and buzz you in gated community or apartment complex, or even the pool when you've been asked to come to a party or BBQ and the host/hostess is not there yet.

  • rachel23 By rachel23

    I always write and mail hand-written thank-you notes!

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