Modern Etiquette: What Rules Still Exist? Tell us your thoughts to win a $75 Amazon gift card

    by   SheSpeaksTeam   

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Jul 10, 2019
503

"Dear Abby" was one of the original syndicated advice columns, appearing in over 1,200 newspapers and read by over 95 million people. Times have certainly changed since "Dear Abby" launched in 1956, but we are curious: are there still rules for common etiquette? And if so, what are they?

In the past few weeks, 5 burning questions have come up within the SheSpeaks Team. After much discussion, here are our best answers. Do you agree? Tell us what you think and you'll be entered to win a $75 Amazon gift card!

Are there any questions you'd love the answers to? Submit them and we'll include some of our favorites as future polls on our website!

Q 1. If you bring a dish to a get-together, is it appropriate to bring home the leftovers?

Not usually. Leftovers should be left for the host to enjoy. However, if there are a ton of leftovers and the host is truly insisting you take it, then take it. It's certainly not worth fighting over.

2. Is it rude to leave your cell phone on the table when dining with friends?

Yes, it's rude, but sometimes it has to be done. For example, if you are out without your kids, then it's ok to keep the phone out in case there is any issue at home. But don't take any calls or texts unless they are truly important. It's not fun to be at dinner with someone who cares more about their device than you.

3. If a single person is going in on a present with a couple who is married or dating, does the single person pay 50% and the couple pay 50% or does each individual person pay one-third?

If everyone knows the recipient equally, than everyone pays equally. But if the partner in the couple doesn't know the recipient and is really just a guest, then 50-50 might be ok. Make sure to talk about it with each other before assuming the amount.

4. How do you get out of an annoying group text conversation without insulting everyone in it?

No one wants to hear constant phone beeping when they're not interested in the chat. If there's a chance that the discussion will end soon, then just silence your phone and ignore it. But if it looks like this chain might be permanent, then it's ok to beg out. Best to send a light-hearted text, something like, "Hey all, love this group but need to get away from the phone and actually pay attention to my children! Can you remove me from the chat? Thx!"

5. Are thank you notes necessary? Do they always have to be hand-written?

Everyone appreciates a thank-you but there are varying degrees of how it needs to be said. If your friend buys you a drink for your bithday, sending a thank-you text afterwards is perfect. But if you receive more meaningful gifts, like at your wedding, graduation party or baby shower, than, yes, we still believe that hand-written notes are ideal. Email is ok for informal events if it is truly personalized. If someone spent time picking out a thoughtful (or expensive) gift for your new baby, they deserve something more than a group email saying, "Thanks for coming to my shower! Loved your gift!" 

What do you think? What questions do you have? Enter for the chance to win a $75 Amazon gift card!

#SheSpeaksEtiquette Giveaway

*One lucky contestant will be chosen at random to receive a $75 Amazon gift card. Giveaway is open through July 28th, 2019 to U.S. residents at least 18 years of age. Entrants must be a member of SheSpeaks. If you are not a member, click here to join. Winner will be notified by email.

Update: Thanks to all who entered! Congrats to our winner, SheSpeaks member beaniebaby70.

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by davisjodie | Chatham, NJ
Jul 10, 2019

When out with friends, I try not to take my phone out.

by daholte | STOUGHTON, WI
Jul 10, 2019

I agree with all of these! Manners are never out of style.

by Starlucero | PARLIER, CA
Jul 10, 2019

Do people still give out birthday cards with money inside or is that just me?

by staciew30 | manson, NC
Jul 10, 2019

I agree with thank notes or thank you text and even a thank you over the phone is always nice.

by mich61 | CATHEDRAL CTY, CA
Jul 10, 2019

Always Thank You notes! No phones at dinner!

by laclay | BEAUMONT, TX
Jul 10, 2019

No cell phones at dinner and yes to Thank You notes.

by Joanna_Topaz | Eden Prairie, MN
Jul 10, 2019

2. It can be rude to have your cell phone out -- unless you're the care provider for someone who could have an emergency or you're actively using it to participate in the live conversation (e.g., checking your calendar to select a date for the next get-together.) 4. Agree with your solutions. 5. Yes, you do need to send handwritten thank you notes for gifts. I've trained my teenager to do this as well. 1. Have to disagree with this one. In my experience, attending a potluck means that the person who brings a dish will expect/be expected to bring home the leftovers. (Where would the host even put that much food?)

by addiedean | BEAVERTON, OR
Jul 10, 2019

I agree with most and wish I was better at them all!

by ghpc70 | CROWN POINT, IN
Jul 10, 2019

I agree with all 5 answers! I am an old-fashioned soul, so these all make perfect sense to me! Just wish more people would practice these same things.

by Starlucero | PARLIER, CA
Jul 10, 2019

I absolutely agree with all of them but now in day I don't think many do.

by Annienicole7 | SMITHFIELD, PA
Jul 10, 2019

I agree with them even though some might think they are harsh. I like the idea of saying you are busy and want to spend time with your kids so to remove from the group chat. Those bug me big time!

by kimcres | Valdosta, GA
Jul 10, 2019

Great start on some modern etiquette Must Do items

by LoraineyE | OMAHA, NE
Jul 10, 2019

With group texts unfortunately I don't think there is anything you can do!

by Mamanetters | PANAMA CITY, FL
Jul 10, 2019

All of great answers but it is possible to remove yourself from a group chat by yourself!

by coffeequeen | BALA CYNWYD, PA
Jul 10, 2019

I agree with all of these. I still send written thank you notes but have also been low to text a thank you too.

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